How I Feel After Finishing The (Shitty) First Draft

Wahooooooo! I did it! I finished my (shitty) first draft of my horror novel and I feel… bereft?! I hyper focused so hard I think I started to believe the characters and world were actually real?! I mean, I’m torn whether that would be a good or a bad thing, considering it’s about cannibal women, but at the same time, they take out the trash (the trash being bad men). So…

Apart from feeling bereft, I also feel emotional. It’s a slog writing a novel. Even when the words flow, it’s still work. Something I think a lot of people don’t take too seriously…

I tried to write every day to keep up the momentum/hyper focus. Some days I couldn’t do it – life gets in the way, plus stress, PMDD, being in autistic burn out. But the truth is, I’ve loved writing this book. I’ve loved thinking up some really fucked up scenes, complicated characters, unhinged moments and even the odd sex scene. It’s been amazing to see how my ‘idea’ played out on paper.

My first draft is far from perfect though. I am going to share my process soon, but be prepared – it’s messy! But I plan to celebrate as much as I can. First, I have to do all the things on my sticker word count chart, and then I need to toast with a bottle of non-alcoholic fizz and maybe a slice of cake. My Mom sent em some sunflowers and that totally made my day…

So yeah, I’m feeling emotional, bereft, and oh, I forgot – really fucking proud.

Kelly xxx